Speedrunners beat Elden Ring quicker than the average queue for Tai Hwa Pork Noodles

If you don't think long queues for food is lame, look at what these guys are doing with their time.

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A lot has been made about the Elden Ring since its release on 25 February, partly because it’s supposedly the easiest of the ‘Soulsbourne’ games  – in essence, the punishingly unforgiving Dark Souls and Bloodborne. If you found Elden Ring difficult, then prepare the salt and watch as YouTuber Hazeblade rubs it in your face with a speedrun record of 24 minutes and 37 seconds, which is probably how much time it takes for co-writer George R. R. Martin to write a line for The Winds of Winter.

The rate at which the records are falling is nothing short of ludicrous, as originally this article was written to highlight Distortion2’s achievement of 25:29 . Upon completing the run Distortion2 remarked that a sub-25-minute run is certainly possible, though he is likely not going to attempt it. That record stood an hour before Hazeblade shaved 16 seconds off the record and then finally broke the 25-minute barrier.

While the leaderboards for Elden Ring speedruns have not opened yet, it is not likely that this record will stand due to its use of a “zip glitch,” which is a teleport exploit. Without this glitch, the fastest publicly posted time is 27:24 , also by Hazeblade.

This would probably be the most confusing aspect for curious onlookers – which exploits are valid and which aren’t. The recent 1.0.3 patch killed the existing speedrun meta, but it seems like for now at least, the speedrunners are sticking to the older patch to log times. But that’s another story for another day, kids.

What’s galling is that these speedrunners would often remark during their runs where they messed up, implying that there’s room to make marked improvements to the time. They’re certainly an interesting bunch and other runners like Uhtrance has started attempting speed runs with an interesting premise, like exploiting a two-hour game returns policy by buying a game, attempting to complete it with all achievements in the game, before returning the game for a refund.

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